Monday, June 18, 2012

Why would I want to die young?

At the outset, I'd like to clear that I'm not depressed, repressed or suicidal. I didn't have a traumatic childhood and definitely not a horrific adolescence. I am a healthy, socially active and funny man. I am just one of the million 'normal' people out there in the world.

Have you ever thought that the late 20s - early 30s are probably the years of our life when we peak...think of just about anything. I'll list some of the things for you,  rest please feel free to add in comments-

1. Physically - you are at your strongest best; you know how to use makeup and have the skin and hair to use it on; you are not going to get any taller; guys would be getting 2 - 3 creases on the forehead or crow's feet around eyes (gives the rugged, hardened cowboy image) while women would have the pout and there'll be little or no plastic in their bodies (I hope, naturals are always better).

2. Emotionally - almost all of us would have seen our share of relationships. And along with that the knowledge that comes free. We'd have seen heartbreaks and learnt how to deal with them. We'd have seen clingy/puppy-ish boyfriends/girlfriends and learnt how to keep them at bay. We'd have been deceived/cheated or would have deceived/cheated so we learnt how it feels from both sides. We'd realized the true worth of our friends, our family and our enemies also (that too is important)

3. Professionally - ok, people will say they have to go a long way, but the truth is...we'll never like what we do for a living. So chuck that out, we've received appreciation for work, been neglected for promotions, participated in office gossips, been targeted for being different/gossip worthy, seen office romances/been involved with a co-worker, harassed by a co-worker/boss, some of us might have even received undue attention from the boss, and yes...not to forget, at some point we all had the insecurity about being jobless the coming Monday.

4. Romantically - I want to assume all of us would have found our perfect companion, our best friend and confidant in our partner. People would have found the significant other in a friend, a co worker, a mysterious stranger, an arranged marriage but yes, we'd have found someone who'd make each and everyday worthwhile (sob sob sob....I can't write more syrupy story...I'll turn into Karan Johar)

5. Sexually - since this article defines its target group as 25 - 35, I can and I will safely assume all of us would have succumbed to the 'temptation' of the 'forbidden fruit' and done the 'original sin'. In fact some of us would have 'been there, done that' way before (this generation, I tell you). If you are 35, reading this article and still a virgin, think about it and do something about it.

6. Materialistically - we all work hard to buy stuff we don't need or will seldom use. But hey, we love to buy and accumulate :) Watch, touchscreen phone, a fancy tablet, DSLR camera, bike, foreign trip, car, house (some of us will) name it and it is lying somewhere round the corner.

7. Philosophically - at this age, we'd already have started questioning a lot of theories and teachings given to us. We'd want the answer to life's most twisted questions and would spend hours pondering about 'the meaning of life?', 'why am I here?', 'the grand design' (I love discussing this one, drop in sometime and we'll talk about it), 'does God exist?', 'why is the govt throwing the country into the gutter?', 'why don't people vote sensibly?', 'will this ever change?'

8. Spiritually - I don't have a clue about spirituality but I think we'd have fixed that thing by now.

So this brings us to a very sad conclusion, from here on it's all downhill...

You've crossed the apex of the 'bell curve', the tip of Mt. Everest and have now started your descent...a descent which ends in a bucolic smelling, pristine white hospital room where you lie down on a bed (if you want to call that a bed) and tubes, monitors are hooked up to you, you see faces around but can't really make out who they are (memory loss, bad bad thing), you might be a little hearing impaired also and you don't have the strength to tightly hug your loved ones one last time. And then...Game Over time!!

People will gather for your funeral, remember you and say that back in the heydays what a charming man he was, what a beautiful woman she was, he was the life of every party, she was an amazing talent, he was so strong, she was so slim...blah blah...while you are just a shell of what you once were. Actually, you are plain DEAD.

When I evaluate myself on these parameters, I see only a few years left before I can tick off all the items on this list. So meet me before I meet the 'eligibility criteria' and let me have the opportunity to entertain and regale you and myself.

After reading this, you'll either think about the same or at-least you'd sit down to evaluate if you are 'qualified' to die young.

So...are you 'qualified enough'?